Today marks exactly one year since Mom’s been gone. As I sit here reflecting I’m filled with so many emotions. Sadness, bewilderment, heart break, anger but mostly gratitude. Yes, you heard correctly, I said gratitude. I know that may seem an odd emotion to focus on but hear me out for a moment.
You see I can choose to sit and focus on all the reasons why I’m angry or sad she’s not here anymore (which I do believe are emotions that should be felt and have a time and place in the grieving process). However, I also have the choice to focus on celebrating Mom and all the wonderful memories of her life. Memories and lessons she has taught me that I hadn’t yet even realized until she was gone. Wow, as I say that I feel the sensation build in my chest and the tears in my eyes.
That's exactly the confirmation I needed. She would have wanted me to celebrate her and share this message with you.
So here we go. Here’s how my Mom has been an inspiration for my life and my purpose so that I can show up for you and inspire you to be more creative.
1. You can always reinvent yourself.
My mom graduated with an Art Education degree and immediately started teaching elementary school. Then shifted into creating hand painted apparel (first operating out of the house and then moving to a studio space - sound familiar?) She then went on to hone her talents as an incredible watercolor artist showing her work in galleries and selling internationally. After that she fell in love with acrylics and texture and decided to try her hand at becoming a mixed media artist. Which she mastered! And lastly rounding back to her first love of teaching - she taught art in her 60’s to women in her retirement community.
Mom teaching watercolor art.
2. Be unconventional.
Mom loved thinking outside of the box and using different materials other than a paint brush to paint with and add texture to her artwork. Everything from tape to toothpicks to bubble wrap to stamps. Her curiosity allowed her to find and incorporate the uniqueness in everything.
3. Strength isn’t about fitness.
To be honest, Mom was not the fitness guru of our family but she was literally one of the strongest people I know. She raised two small children (both under the age of 4) overseas in Egypt and Abu Dhabi. Halfway around the world - no friends, no family, no cell phones and most of the time on her own because Dad was on job sites. She had no choice - she figured it f@&k out! Damn Mom you were a baddie if there ever was one. If I can be a little less scared and a little more brave like you every day then I’m going places. Remember you are stronger than you think!
Cairo, Eygpt - 1977
4. Practice makes you confident - not perfect.
While Mom was naturally gifted at just about any art project she attempted, it didn’t always turn out the way she envisioned the first go round. I remember her telling me how she painted over so many of her old paintings because the first attempt was just a practice run. Instead of letting this defeat her and give up, she kept trying - she kept playing and the more she did the more confident she became in her art. Let that sink in for a second, the more you do something, the more you’ll feel confident the likely you will get better at it.
5. Art is therapy.
Instead of a guest room in our house it was Mom’s studio! She would spend hours in there playing, painting and doodling. Maybe it was to get away from the chaos of three loud family members in the house (aka me, my sister and dad). Rightfully so. We all deserve a break from the stress in our lives right? Art can help ease our anxiety and bring us back to a sense of calm. Even as she lost her fine motor skills from Dementia towards the end of her life and couldn’t paint like she used to, she still enjoyed coloring and crafting. It brought her peace.
Coloring with Mom at her memory care facility.
6. Give yourself the permission to try!
Mom was a multi dimensional, multi passionate person long before it was a self help buzz word in society.
Some people (including myself before today) may have viewed this behavior as misguided or distracted. “Oh there goes Nita trying another thing. She doesn’t know what we wants. It’s so cute how she’s just a free spirit artist.” But low and behold Mom has us all fooled. She DID know what she wanted! What she wanted was to take that leap of faith and dive into something new all the time. And when it wasn’t fun or lighting her up anymore she moved on to the next thing. She lived life and she allowed herself to have fun with the process not the outcome. Wow that's powerful!
Mom supporting me at one of my early pottery events.
What I have taken away from all these reflections is that life is precious. Each and every day we have an opportunity to do or try or be something great. So go live it!!
Cherish every moment you have. Stay fearless and stay creative.
And Mom - thank you for the lessons. I love you and miss you dearly! I know you are watching over me and cheering me on in my journey.
Love,
Courtney
Now your turn! What’s a life lesson you've learned from your Mom or Dad? Let me hear them in the comments below! 👇
Mom modeling her activewear. How cute was she?!
Article in the local paper about Mom's art studio.
Me and Mom painting cactus - 2019
